As we are taught and learn the value of being single and celebrate the position that a single woman has in this life, we must be mindful of the significant asset that comes with being single. It is common to have it assumed that a single woman is missing something or someone. Friends and family are on the lookout to match her with someone. She must be lonely or lonesome. A lonely person desires companionship. A lonesome person is pitifully forlorn or dejectedly lonely. The difference is subtle, and the adjectives lonely and lonesome are interchangeable and have been in conservations tied with being single. Being single is viewed by some individuals as being incomplete.
The Bible does not portray single as not being normal are a status that is not desirable. God speaks directly to singles and in three instances God states that single is good, read 1Corinthians chapter 7 verses 1, 8 and 26. To be single is a gift. When a gift is received, the receiver is usually thankful and accepts the gift with the proper attitude. Yes, being single is a gift from God. In I Corinthians 7:7 it is written, that every person has a gift, one of this manner and one after that. Therefore, God gave some the gift of being single and to others he gave the gift of marriage. What we do with our singleness in serving God is what matters. Being single allow the individual to be free to devote her or himself fully to God’s service. Dr. Edward Watke, Jr. wrote that, there is not a Christian man or woman who wholeheartedly loves God but does not have to struggle with priorities. What time belongs to God? How much time belongs to others? Dr. Watke wrote that how to balance what is pleasant to the Lord, is the kind of struggle we as singles and Christians should be involved. A married person has the family as one priority in God’s plan and economy of things. If you are not married, you can give yourself totally to God without pressure of those relationships. You can be totally consumed with serving God in your life.
Single does not define lonely. Single people who are lonely are often worrying about what is or is not happening to them or for them. The better avenue would be to consider what should be done to minister to others. We must be mindful that being single is a gift. If you are single, God has special plans for each single member of society. That plan includes reaching out and helping others. The overall answer to your lonely and lonesome moments, feeling you are not part of what is happening, is not to wait until someone informs you of what is happening, but to create and give of yourself. It will be manifested, that in serving God it begins to come back and the needs in your life are met.
Each day as singles, if we embrace the gift of singleness with a spirit of thanksgiving we will not be lonely or lonesome; because it is difficult to be lonely and/or lonesome when we are thankful. Being thankful means taking spiritual inventory of our blessings (Ephesians 5:20). We may physically be alone, but God has done many good things to minister to our needs.
As I close this greeting, I too am single and it is this writer’s stance to Praise God for whatever my lot in life may be (Philippians 4:11). Loneliness, if viewed properly, is not bad. It may be just the thing that draws us to God and to our knees in prayer. We who single are not the first to experience neither loneliness nor the shadows of wilderness. Christ experienced being forsaken even by His father as well as forsaken by man. He knows what loneliness is and Yahweh (God) is the Lover of the single (Hosea 2:19-20).
Licensed Professional Counselor, No.1895-125
Watke Jr., Edward. The Problem of Loneliness: Revival in the Home Ministries, Inc. 2001.